the fear courage love ratio

I’ve been enjoying the silence of not blogging~ having shifted from the short form of blogging to the long form of novel, I have loved indulging in the process of lingering over sentences and toiling over word structure. But today, I couldn’t help but blog since today I sat in fear. I was in Maui producing the first video segment of People and the Planet, and lucky enough to be so extremely busy these past few days that I took in only the necessary information you manage when in production working with budgets and deadlines: 1) Is everyone you care about healthy and safe? 2) Is anything in the way of accomplishing your production goals?

Today was the first day I fully emerged for air, and while the element of fear has coursed through me with the earth quake in Japan, the tsunami in Hawaii, then the tsunami hitting the bay area (my home), then the nuclear melt downs, then wondering if we are going to be radiated in Hawaii, and then remembering that there is a war breaking out in Libya, mourning the men and women in Japan who sacrificed their lives to manage the nuclear plants, then the GMO issues breaking out in Australia, and New Zealand, how is New Zealand? And what am I forgetting? My grandmother who is being transferred into a nursing home, yes. I’m still forgetting something. I can feel it. There is something else I should be concerned about.

The fear took over me today, I got stuck in conversations that down spiraled into fear, and then friendly disagreements turned not so friendly, about facts and stats about the status of the melting down nuclear plants. And I started to feel like I was living in a futuristic movie, and then I felt even more fear, when it hit me. Right. We live in media and entertainment systems that are designed to profit off of our fear.

And then I remembered, or rather, for the first time, I felt so fully in the moment, why People and the Planet is so relevant to the times we are living in. I knew it when I created it, I felt it today. The concept of the project was born out of the BP spill. I couldn’t stand to absorb any more guilt, blame, and fear when taking in news about the environment. For a moment I saw how the narrative that is coursing through the veins of our newspapers separates us from the environment. It begins by making it sound like something separate from ourselves, This…thing. This…noun. Rather than a source of life that we are intrinsically intertwined and interdependent upon.

I kept having these peek-a-boo experiences. Peek: Look at my computer, read the news, feel horrified and like the world was going to end. A-boo: Walk outside, absorb the sun, swim in the ocean, walk through the forest, feel refreshed, revitalized, energized, satiated, happy. Ok, so I worked in online outreach and as an online producer. I know how the system works. If you are searching for it, or if it is sensational or eye catching, editors will headline it. But. As news and information goes, that’s not the whole story. Heck. That’s not even half the story. That’s just…a few letters in the alphabet of news and information, and we are stuck on repeat. And so, People and the Planet was born to fuel us during these hard times; to ground us in our connection to the natural world; to constantly remind us that the environment (aka our waters, oceans, rivers, winds, mountains, butterflies, clouds) is our ally, our friend, a sources of healing and wellness, our source of connectedness, and a source of pleasure and joy. It was a treat to be reminded of this mission, when I was secretly scanning through my brain trying to figure out what form of escape I could use for my own stresses, I was reminded! HA!! I’m producing it!!! Over the next few days I’ll be writing all about or experience filming our first segment that features Rebecca Goff, a woman who works with the element of water and the energy of whales in her healing practice. I can’t wait to share.

Meanwhile, on a slight side note, just after realizing, “I am doing something in the world that could make a difference,” I was driving down the street and came to a narrow spot on the road. I slowed to let the oncoming driver pass, but the guy in the oncoming traffic lane pulled over and waved me forward, and flashed me a “hang loose” sign.  We both appreciated the consideration of the other and beamed smiles at each other. It was one of those silly simple moments: amazing how a random act of kindness can make all of the difference. Something in it~ in this particular moment in time~ left me with the understanding that it takes courage to move beyond fear, and courage, well they say that is fueled by love. And love can be expressed…anywhere…and have the most unexpected ripple affect.

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